Probably the last thing that I could have thought of is that I deserve someone better in my life. I've never been so unworthy about anything until this point in my life. People whom treated me so well, who cherishes me and appreciates me, aren't the ones that I appreciate.. I'm always slaves for people who treats me like a used toy and rubbish, but I just wouldn't care, because one, I want to be loved by someone whom I love. Two, I'm just plain selfish. At this point now, I don't deserve anyone better, that is why I am torturing myself. Torturing myself thinking that if I treated myself low, having fun, then it would be my level of 'deserving' area. The last thing I want for now is a commitment in something far greater than just texting and caring.. Those are out of my league, I will never have that. That is why, now I guess I'm just a puppet, waiting for someone to just hold the strings, and play me away. Because if I deserve anything, that's what I deserved.
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